Lost Innocence
For days on end
A child cried
Nowhere to run
No
place to hide
The tears were silent
A stone face shown
People all
around
Yet she was alone
What happened to her
She didn't
tell
But survived alone
In her private hell
The shame now
there
A childhood ruined
With no idea
It wasn't her doing
She
did not know
About birds and bees
She just thought
They belonged in
trees
He invaded some places
Foreign to her
She didn't
protest
She did not stir
All she thought was
This is wrong
But
couldn't move
He was too strong
She let it happen
She's to
blame
She never expected
To feel such shame
For days on end
She
felt guilt
If she told
A family would tilt
The fear now
there
Buried deep inside
Even if asked
She would have
lied
Living in silence
Until this day
Now she knows
What she
must say
It is her duty
To now tell
So other children
Not endure
her hell
By Lisa A. MacLeod
Showing posts with label Signs of Abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Signs of Abuse. Show all posts
Monday, December 19, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Action Day Against Facebook Rape Pages
"The following are actual pages on Facebook: “Kicking Sluts in the Vagina,” “I know a silly little bitch that needs a good slap,” and “Riding your Girlfriend softly, Cause you dont want to wake her up.” These clearly are in violation of Facebook's own policies and need to be removed.
Facebook’s own Terms of Service prohibit content that is “hateful, threatening,” or contains “graphic or gratuitous violence” Moreover, users are specifically barred from posting content that aims to “bully, intimidate, or harass” any user.Facebook could and should do more to stop them from popping up in the first place and to swiftly remove those that do exist. First, Facebook needs to clarify that pages that encourage or condone rape --like the ones mentioned above-- are in violation of their existing standards.
Secondly, they need to make a statement that all pages that describe sexual violence in a threatening way will be immediately taken down upon being reported. Finally, Facebook must include specific language in their Terms of Service that make it clear that pages promoting any form of sexual violence will be banned.
Demand that Facebook took a stronger stand in enforcing its own policies and stop promoting rape and rape culture."
Sign and Share the Position from Change.org here.
Monday, March 21, 2011
7 Signs You're in a Manipulative Relationship
By Colleen Oakley, MyDaily.com
Christine Donovan knew something wasn't right in her relationship when she didn't want to go home from work. "I felt anxious all the time," she says. "I never knew what kind of mood he would be in, or if I had unknowingly done something that would have upset him." But Christine wasn't in an abusive relationship -- at least none that she had ever seen. "He didn't hit me or get violently angry. I just thought we were having normal relationship problems that we needed to work through," she says.
The type of guy Christine was dealing with is all too common, but there's nothing "normal" about it, says Dr. Mary Casey, author of "How to Deal With Master Manipulators". "Manipulators aim to control their partners by pressing the buttons that get them emotional, whether it be making them feel afraid, unworthy, stupid, insecure, angry or frustrated," she says. But because manipulators are typically passive-aggressive in their tactics, unlike domestic abuse, it can be difficult to tell when you're in a manipulative relationship. "While abuse is obvious, victims of manipulation don't even realize they are being manipulated because the manipulator masks their behavior as positive, caring and nurturing," she says.
If you're sad more often than happy in your relationship and something feels wrong but you just can't put your finger on it, read on to see if you might be shacking up with a manipulative partner -- and what you can do about it.
7 Signs You Might be Dating a Manipulator:
1. You're always falling short of your partner's expectations.
In an argument, the person being manipulated is often made to feel they are the ones at fault all of the time, says Casey. But what's really going on is the manipulator is shifting the blame onto them and detracting in subtle, hard-to-detect ways. They'll commonly say things like, "So we're going to have the big interrogation are we?" or "Are you going to get all emotional again?"
2. You often feel guilty in your relationship and are always looking to repair the "damage."
The manipulator is skilled at making people feel this way by saying things like "I spent all this money on this gift for you, and look how you thank me" or "You have trust issues -- why don't you trust me?"
3. You don't often know where you stand with your partner.
A manipulative partner often uses concealed or open threats to keep his girlfriend anxious and holding onto the relationship, says Casey. He might use statements such as "I don't even know why I'm here anymore; this isn't working for me."
4. You often feel like you're walking on eggshells around him (or her).
Maybe sometimes you're given lots of love and affections; at other times you're given the cold shoulder for no apparent reason, says Casey.
5. You feel confused in the relationship and keep questioning or blaming yourself for making your partner angry or frustrated. Manipulators are skilled at never being to blame for any problem in a relationship.
6. You're unhappy in your relationship at least 90 percent of the time.
This is a big red flag for anyone in a relationship -- whether you're with a manipulator or not, it's time to reevaluate why you're with that person.
7. You're anxious about telling your partner your plans or about something you've bought. If this is the case, you're most likely being controlled and manipulated, says Casey.
If a few or more of these statements described your relationship, you're likely with a manipulator, and the bad news is, he is unlikely to change.
"Manipulation is a learned behavior -- no one is born with it. It's very much a survival strategy learned from early childhood and therefore changing the behavior is near impossible," says Casey. "Your time is better invested in developing strategies to protect yourselves, because you can never change a manipulator's actions.
In other words, dump the jerk and then look into how you attracted him in the first place. "Women who attract manipulators tend to lack self-worth and assertiveness, and they tend to be people pleasers," says Casey. "They trust to the point of ignorance and therefore do not realize that they are being manipulated until they have been in emotional turmoil for some time. It can often be years before they see the situation for what it really is."
But once you do recognize it, you can put a stop to it. "First, take responsibility and own up to being a victim and a target," says Casey. "Admit your flaws to yourself. And most importantly, get out of the relationship and become who you really are; not something someone else wants you to be."
Colleen Oakley is a freelance writer who is still pretty good at manipulating her dad -- although, he never did buy her a pony. You can find out more about her at her website.
http://www.mydaily.com/2011/03/16/manipulative-relationship-signs-master-manipulator/
Christine Donovan knew something wasn't right in her relationship when she didn't want to go home from work. "I felt anxious all the time," she says. "I never knew what kind of mood he would be in, or if I had unknowingly done something that would have upset him." But Christine wasn't in an abusive relationship -- at least none that she had ever seen. "He didn't hit me or get violently angry. I just thought we were having normal relationship problems that we needed to work through," she says.
The type of guy Christine was dealing with is all too common, but there's nothing "normal" about it, says Dr. Mary Casey, author of "How to Deal With Master Manipulators". "Manipulators aim to control their partners by pressing the buttons that get them emotional, whether it be making them feel afraid, unworthy, stupid, insecure, angry or frustrated," she says. But because manipulators are typically passive-aggressive in their tactics, unlike domestic abuse, it can be difficult to tell when you're in a manipulative relationship. "While abuse is obvious, victims of manipulation don't even realize they are being manipulated because the manipulator masks their behavior as positive, caring and nurturing," she says.
If you're sad more often than happy in your relationship and something feels wrong but you just can't put your finger on it, read on to see if you might be shacking up with a manipulative partner -- and what you can do about it.
7 Signs You Might be Dating a Manipulator:
1. You're always falling short of your partner's expectations.
In an argument, the person being manipulated is often made to feel they are the ones at fault all of the time, says Casey. But what's really going on is the manipulator is shifting the blame onto them and detracting in subtle, hard-to-detect ways. They'll commonly say things like, "So we're going to have the big interrogation are we?" or "Are you going to get all emotional again?"
2. You often feel guilty in your relationship and are always looking to repair the "damage."
The manipulator is skilled at making people feel this way by saying things like "I spent all this money on this gift for you, and look how you thank me" or "You have trust issues -- why don't you trust me?"
3. You don't often know where you stand with your partner.
A manipulative partner often uses concealed or open threats to keep his girlfriend anxious and holding onto the relationship, says Casey. He might use statements such as "I don't even know why I'm here anymore; this isn't working for me."
4. You often feel like you're walking on eggshells around him (or her).
Maybe sometimes you're given lots of love and affections; at other times you're given the cold shoulder for no apparent reason, says Casey.
5. You feel confused in the relationship and keep questioning or blaming yourself for making your partner angry or frustrated. Manipulators are skilled at never being to blame for any problem in a relationship.
6. You're unhappy in your relationship at least 90 percent of the time.
This is a big red flag for anyone in a relationship -- whether you're with a manipulator or not, it's time to reevaluate why you're with that person.
7. You're anxious about telling your partner your plans or about something you've bought. If this is the case, you're most likely being controlled and manipulated, says Casey.
If a few or more of these statements described your relationship, you're likely with a manipulator, and the bad news is, he is unlikely to change.
"Manipulation is a learned behavior -- no one is born with it. It's very much a survival strategy learned from early childhood and therefore changing the behavior is near impossible," says Casey. "Your time is better invested in developing strategies to protect yourselves, because you can never change a manipulator's actions.
In other words, dump the jerk and then look into how you attracted him in the first place. "Women who attract manipulators tend to lack self-worth and assertiveness, and they tend to be people pleasers," says Casey. "They trust to the point of ignorance and therefore do not realize that they are being manipulated until they have been in emotional turmoil for some time. It can often be years before they see the situation for what it really is."
But once you do recognize it, you can put a stop to it. "First, take responsibility and own up to being a victim and a target," says Casey. "Admit your flaws to yourself. And most importantly, get out of the relationship and become who you really are; not something someone else wants you to be."
Colleen Oakley is a freelance writer who is still pretty good at manipulating her dad -- although, he never did buy her a pony. You can find out more about her at her website.
http://www.mydaily.com/2011/03/16/manipulative-relationship-signs-master-manipulator/
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